I started using dating apps in 2013 when I was in poly, so I’d consider myself an online dating veteran of sorts. Name all the mainstream dating apps off the top of your head, and I’ve tried pretty much all of them. From the age of 18 onwards, I swiped up a storm in the hopes of finding love. And in the process, met all sorts of characters – the good, the bad, and the downright toxic.

As you’d imagine, I’ve also been through a whirlwind of dating misadventures, from being catfished multiple times to getting ghosted by a “situationship” 1 week before my birthday – and subsequently spiralling into an emotional breakdown.

Having found love in 2021 – shoutout to OkCupid – I’ve officially retired from the online dating scene. Here are some pearls of wisdom I’d like to share with singletons out there with whom I used to be in the same boat. 

1. Be upfront with what you want so you don’t bark up the wrong tree

The flexibility and lack of restrictions when it comes to dating apps could also be the greatest bane. Users can freely look for whatever they desire, from lifelong love to a casual fling.

Young me used to have flimsy, almost non-existent standards when it came to expressing what I wanted. The answer was: a proper boyfriend, and to experience my first love.

But I allowed myself to be okay with casual dating relationships, faux-mances – essentially providing girlfriend-levels of companionship without the commitment, and even became guys’ “texting buddies”.

It was a common occurrence to be filled with glee and excitement when a new match sends a text, only to realise that they’re just after a hookup and nothing more.
Image credit: Renae Cheng

This led to time wasted and emotions invested into guys I was never going to build something serious with. Plus tears and heartbreak when they inevitably broke it to me that my feelings of attachment weren’t reciprocated in the slightest.

Tip: State on your profile what type of connection you’re seeking, so you only attract those who are on the same page. If you find that a lil too serious and fear that it might scare potential matches off, make sure to bring it up in the initial stages of texting or – at the very least – during the first meet-up.

That way, you and the other party are both aware of what direction the connection is blossoming towards, and there won’t be misaligned expectations along the way.

2. Playing “the game” to protect your pride will only drain you

In modern dating, almost everyone is on self-preservation mode to make sure their heart doesn’t get broken, and that they don’t lose face. Compared to bygone days of romance where it was admirable to wear your heart on your sleeve, people now play a game of who can appear more disinterested, even when they’re actually keen on the other party. 

Overthinking minute details like how long they’re taking to reply to a text will wreak havoc on your psyche over time.
Image for illustration only.

This leads to petty acts like having to wait a set number of hours before replying so you don’t seem despo, or not expressing things like, “I’m really looking forward to our first meet-up tonight!” – ‘cause you think it’ll make you seem overeager.

Being so guarded is a disservice not only to our own feelings, but to the other party as well – who might very well wind up being a genuine love connection.

Tip: Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”. Someone who you’re likely not to cross paths with again if y’all don’t end up dating, wandering around with the knowledge that you actually liked them? 

Even if they do go around telling people that you were too into them, it accomplishes nothing except making them sound like a cocky A-hole, and you would’ve dodged a bullet.

On the flipside, consider how many potential love connections you may have missed out on ‘cause you wanted to appear cool and aloof – leading the other party to think that you weren’t that interested.

Life’s too short to worry endlessly about unwritten rules and whether you have “the upper hand”. Feel freely, love strongly, and if the other party doesn’t reciprocate it, at least you’d have clarity and will be able to move on with #NoRagrets.

3. The right person won’t require you to bend your boundaries

I used to be guilty of downplaying my matches’ shortcomings, focusing only on positioning myself as someone who’s Ms Right for whoever I was messaging at the time. I even convinced myself that I could like things that I wasn’t interested in, just to have more in common with the other party.

Or, even more tragically, that I could bend my boundaries to suit their ideal type and dating style. This meant dressing a certain way just so they’d find me more attractive, or claiming I’m not big on texting when in reality, I would love to have sweet little text convos with my partner throughout the day.

Tip: Being 100% authentic acts as a wonderful filter to weed off matches with whom you are simply not meant to be.

For instance, I used to heavily suppress expressing my love for kids out of fear that guys on dating apps would think that I were some baby-obsessed psycho who expects them to fertilise me ASAP. But with my partner, it was one of the first things we bonded over and it allowed us to identify a common trait from the get-go.

For the record, that is not our kid, but my boyfriend’s nephew LOL.
Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

If I were to conceal that fact about myself, I might have ended up attracting other dudes but at what cost? Finding out somewhere down the line that they don’t like kids, and never wish to have any? In the wise words of a certain Ms Grande, Thank U, Next.

4. It’s better to be single & happy than attached with the wrong person

As crude as it sounds, my years of online dating experience have led to a firm belief in the saying: “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably sh*t.”

Throughout my young adulthood, I was so desperate for love and companionship that I’d deem every new dating app connection to be The One. This meant making them the centre of my universe even though we’d only just met, fantasising about our picture-perfect love story, and doing foolish things in an attempt to make them “want” me. 

A truly sobering experience: reading old texts between me and my confidantes where I was delusional to the point of no salvation.
Image credit: Renae Cheng

They say hindsight is 20/20, and looking back it’s crystal clear that the intense infatuation I felt for various dates I met online was one-sided. My wake-up call was when the nth situationship cut me off with no rhyme or reason after a seemingly normal, and even sweet date.

For the uninitiated, a situationship is in between friendship and a relationship, where you’re dating but not necessarily official yet. We did all the things a couple would do, and certainly acted like boyfriend and girlfriend throughout a period of several weeks.

When he ghosted me a week before my birthday, I was shell-shocked and went into an emotional spiral, spam-calling him and pleading for answers over text. Despite the cruelty of cutting me off at the height of my developing feelings, I foolishly believed that it’s something I could forgive him for, and wanted nothing but to “get back together” with him. 

Emo IG posts were part and parcel of the “breakup” recovery process…*cringe*
Image credit: Renae Cheng

Only when the fog lifted did I realise that it wasn’t him as a person whom I liked and wanted a relationship with – but the mere idea of finally having a boyfriend.

In fact, even before the near-sociopathic act of ghosting someone out of nowhere after treating them like you were in love with them, he already exhibited red flags galore. Being verbally abusive when I didn’t respond to his texts immediately, demanding to know of my whereabouts 24/7, guilting me for having male interactions – the whole nine yards.

Tip: It’s easier said than done, but you do not need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I know exactly how unbearable it can get, especially when the loneliness creeps in and you want nothing more than to have a special someone to share everything with, and experience all the magical aspects of love that they write pop songs about.

However, remind yourself that being single may be lonely, but at least you’re in control of your own life. This will allow you to be more stringent with your dating app connections, and not expect every single match to end up being “The One”. Remember, if someone is bringing you more grief and misery than joy, it’s hardly worth allowing them a spot in your life. 

5. Don’t overthink your physical insecurities

I’ve encountered my fair share of catfish experiences, from strategically angled profile pics to create optical illusions, to guys straight-up claiming they were someone that they’re clearly not. God bless Google’s reverse image search function.

Image for illustration only.

In dating apps where profiles are presented one after the other like cattle at an auction, it’s natural to feel fixated on appearance. Not to bombard you with too many clichéd quotes, but “those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Would you really want to forge a future with someone whose only criteria for choosing a mate is whether they look hot?

As someone who had gone out with fellas in all shapes, sizes, and appearances, rest assured that most people are not as preoccupied with looks as you’d think. I, too, used to be insecure about things like my facial structure, and less-than-toned physique having been an overweight teenager prior to a K-pop weight loss transformation.

In terms of insecurities, it doesn’t get more confidence-crushing than to see your Tinder profile getting bashed on a forum, unprovoked.
Image credit: HardwareZone

Have I been made to feel crummy by guys who found me unattractive based on their own ideals? Yes. Did I proceed to hate my own appearance and vow never to show my physical self on dating apps for fear of being forever alone? Nah, not really.

Tip: Present yourself as you are, and people can choose to take it or leave it. Even if you’ve been traumatised by nasty comments or rejections in the past, don’t project it onto future potential matches.

As they say, different strokes for different folks. For all you know, there could be throngs of people out there who find you drop-dead gorgeous.

6. When someone is right for you, you won’t have to look for signs

After all the dating app mishaps I’ve shared with you, you might be wondering if a silver lining even exists amidst all these perils. As someone who has found someone online whom I undoubtedly want to spend the rest of my days with, I’m here to tell you that good guys/girls do exist on dating apps.

Now, the question begs: how will you know whether they’re right for you?

Not to get all abstract with you, but based on my years of experience, heartache, and countless nights sobbing into my pillow, my answer is: “you’ll just know”. Meanwhile, if you’re grasping at straws trying to conjure reasons as to whether they’re a good fit, chances are – you already have your answer.

Facts. Also, a little ironic that the show that this quote is from was recommended to me by a guy I met through a dating app, who ended up smashing my heart into smithereens.
Image credit: SineHub

My gal pals have served as agony aunts and confidantes throughout my innumerable failed dating attempts. They’d be quick to tell you how ridiculous I’d get when trying to ignore red flags, or make excuses for clearly intolerable behaviour.

In comparison, meeting and getting to know my partner gave me a sense of security and assurance I’d never felt before. He was also open and authentic, not hiding any part of himself nor expecting me to change who I am to fit some preconceived mould.

A photo taken on our first “monthsary”. We made things official just 3 weeks after matching online, which may be controversial to some – but it just seemed right.
Image credit: Renae Cheng

I used to scoff at people in love who dreamily shared that “when you know, you know”. But just like how all parents always say you’ll never understand how it feels till you have a kid yourself, it’s really something you have to experience to believe.

Tip: Whether it’s talking to new matches or going out with your online dates, be honest with yourself when looking for signs that someone is a good fit for you. Are you trying to force a connection out of nothing? Because if it really works, it shouldn’t be that difficult, and you most certainly should not be filled with doubt.

Sometimes, the signs pointing towards no are there all along, it’s up to you whether you want to heed them.

Relationship advice from someone who used dating apps for 8 years 

Dating app success stories are getting more and more common. Especially in Singapore, where it’s kind of hard to meet people other than through school, work, religious institutions, and mutual intros.

Dating app horror stories may be aplenty, and it’s understandable why some people are so averse to it.  But keep in mind that at the end of the day, good and bad people can be found everywhere, and the toxic dates aren’t lurking exclusively online.

Deleting your online dating account and clearing the apps from your phone ‘cause you’ve found love = one of the best feelings in life, I reckon.
Image adapted from: Vpn Mentor

If you’re weighing the pros and cons, consider the fact that dating apps open your options up way wider, and you can sift through potential matches at your convenience. Just look at me, I used various dating apps on and off from my poly and uni years all the way into proper working adulthood.

Through my suffering – or what I like to call character development and racking up XP so I can level-up in love and life – I hope you get some insight that can be beneficial in your dating and relationship adventures; whether you meet that special someone through a fateful swipe, or the old-fashioned way.

Check out our other love and relationship articles:

• Dating app mistakes Singaporeans make
• Being single in my 30s and why it’s okay
• Dating as a single mum in Singapore
• Love lessons learned through failed relationships

Cover image adapted from: Renae Cheng
Last updated 21st July 2022.

The post I Tried To Find Love On Dating Apps For 8 Years & Finally Found The One – Here Are 6 Things I Learnt appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

It’s not easy finding love in Singapore. Hectic work lives leave little time for dating and standards of living are high. And with current social distancing thrown into the mix, singles might be hard-pressed to find someone to settle down with for life. 

However, Adam*, 39, has opted for an alternative route when it comes to marriage. After no luck in the love department, he decided to approach a Vietnamese dating agency due to his yearning for a family. “I’m getting older, and I do want to have kids when I can,” he laments. Here’s his story on how he might be marrying a Vietnamese bride.

*Name has been changed to maintain confidentiality.

Looking for his other half

Adam, an engineer, has not had a girlfriend before, citing his introversion and small social circle as a challenge to meeting potential partners. “Girls don’t find me attractive one lah, also, I sometimes tend to tense up around people. Plus, I’m not young anymore,” he tells me. 

However, he loves kids and has always wanted to have his own. “I would like to have one boy and one girl, ideally,” he says. Adam’s eyes shine when he speaks of this hope, and he expresses that it’d be satisfying to bring them up and see each of them grow as a person.

The unforgiving passage of time has dulled this hope, though, as he can’t seem to find his elusive other half. Does he have high standards? I ask. He muses, “Not really, for me, someone with a good character is most important.” He describes his type as a girl-next-door, someone feminine and more traditional, who wouldn’t mind doing household chores and cooking “like our mum’s era”. 

Someone who has values like that in today’s modern world, he says, is hard to find. 

Finding an agency

That unsuccessful search for love led Adam to consider roping in some help. He did use online dating apps previously like Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel, but to little success. “It’s kind of superficial, as you need good pictures. And sometimes, the girls I’ve talked to would ghost after chatting for a bit,” he says.

Finally, he ended up chancing across a newspaper article about a Singaporean who founded a Viet bride agency which emphasised proper screening and background checks on both sides of the arrangement.

Adam admitted that he had heard from friends and even briefly visited other agencies in Orchard which he felt “lacked sincerity”.

“They kept showing me photos of beautiful girls, and never asked me what kind of traits I’m looking for in a wife. No point lah – I don’t entirely go for looks,” he recalls.

The agency Adam chose in the end was B & G Vietnamese Bride Agency, where founder Eric Koh put his mind at ease by personally chatting with him, and went in-depth to get to know him as a person. Adam explained, “He asked me how much I earned, if I owned a house or car, my occupation, traits I’m looking out for and more – I felt he was sincere in trying to find me a suitable match.”

According to the agency, this background check is to weed out insincere or unsavoury clients. Once the client has passed the checks, he will be matched up with a suitable Vietnamese lady – after the boss has spoken to her to see if she was willing to be matched up with the guy in question. 

Finding a bride

As for Adam, he was introduced to Lien*, a 27-year-old graduate of Ho Chi Minh university, who was gentle and thoughtful. “The first time I saw her was through video call, and then the agency gave me her contact later, so we could converse via Zalo (a popular messaging platform in Vietnam).”

“What did you guys speak about?” I ask. “Oh, just casual things,” Adam says, like what’s her job, how’s her day going and sending each other scenery photos. For her birthday, he even got her a Xiaomi watch. 

“It feels like normal dating. The only thing is, you haven’t met this person physically, and you might be getting married in a matter of weeks or months,” he says.

Adam also explained that he was only introduced to Lien after the B & G’s character profiling. This is unlike some other agencies where a slew of girls are shown to the client to “choose from”. 

“It really differs from agency to agency,” he explains. “For mine, they stated a quota of three chosen matches for a set package. Other agencies will match you till you get married.”

The total matchmaking fee is about $6,500, which is paid in phases from introduction all the way to flying over to Vietnam for the wedding ceremony (before Covid hit). And FYI, all costs after are borne by the guy – like flight tickets – although the agency does provide top-up packages which include photography and videography, makeup for the bride and even dowry for the marriage day. 

Adam was impressed by a wedding video of a previous couple that he was shown, “Wah, not bad eh, very professional and it’s so much more affordable than Singapore’s rates.”

Challenges in the process

However, not everything was smooth sailing for Adam as he decided to take the plunge. He initially faced some resistance from his parents. “They find it a bit weird, lah, like usually the typical Singaporean style is to date a few years then get married. Now, it’s like in a few months you can get married.”

Even agency founder Eric told him that it was more of marriage first, then knowing the girl after. “It’s like the opposite. So definitely, there is a certain risk,” he says. But with persuasion, his parents accepted the fact after a while. 

Another stumbling block to the fledgling relationship was the language barrier. Of Lien, Adam said, “She only knows a bit of English. So we had to use Google Translate to talk. What I appreciated was that she tries her best to reply in English, although sometimes the nuances are lost as the translation isn’t the most accurate,” he laughs. 

To counter this, some of his friends’ wives attended English classes, to help them better assimilate into the culture here in Singapore. 

Misconceptions about marrying a Vietnamese brides

Despite more Singaporean men marrying non-resident brides, misconceptions still plague the industry, citing the brides as “scammers” or being forced into disadvantageous arrangements. However, Eric firmly believes that it’s an unfair stereotype and that his agency is determined to ensure both parties consent and respect each other on equal footing.

“Nobody wants to come here to scam people. And it’s unfair to judge these women just because they might have financial reasons – domestic helpers and workers also do likewise,” he said. 

His agency also holds rigorous checks for both men and women, like a minimum salary of $3,500 and parental approval for guys, ensuring that the marriage starts on the right foot with financial stability and the okay from future in-laws. 

According to Eric, most Vietnamese ladies feel that Singaporean men can provide their future kids with better prospects, and more often, they are better protected in Singapore than Vietnam due to the strength of the Women’s Charter. He also has a soft spot for his clients, especially 30-something-year-olds, he says, who are “good folk, but lack social skills”, and hopes his agency could get them a decent match.

“Here, we turn away guys who see their brides as a tool, not a partner. They are coming into this with the wrong mindset,” Eric says, hoping that he at least provides seeking guys a more legit option than dodgy agencies which are looks and profit-oriented. 

He shares a horror story, “Once, I heard of a bait-and-switch, they showed a beautiful girl to the guy, only for him to fly over and be told she was already married. The agency just said, nevermind, you can meet these five other girls instead!”

Taking the plunge for marriage

As for Adam, our prospective groom, he remains nervous yet hopeful about Lien and what the future holds. “People can say what they want,” he says, “but ultimately, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Success stories of loving couples like that of his friends, also keep him going. 

Turns out that even though the journey to marriage might look different from what we’re used to, love and companionship do come in all forms – and in the most unexpected ways.

Images just for illustration only, and are not representative of the interviewee.
Cover image adapted from: @truongdiepanh_ via Instagram
Last updated 17th December 2021.

The post Why I Am Marrying A Vietnamese Bride After Giving Up On Finding Love In SG appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

Contrary to popular belief, couples here in Singapore are spoilt for choice when it comes to date ideas. Sometimes though, the restaurant your bae has been hinting at is fully booked, or you just don’t want to deal with overcrowded attractions. One way to spice up your relationship without any is to bring your boo out on a spooky paktor instead.

We’re not kidding – studies have shown a correlation between fear and attraction, which is why your partner is prone to grip your hand tightly whenever y’all are watching The Conjuring for the third time. For those that don’t mind being potentially third-wheeled by a supernatural being, here are scary date ideas for the brave couples out there. Fingers crossed it’s only Casper saying boo.

1. Romantic night cycling along Upper Thomson Road

Disclaimer: No hantu will be there to help you capture a K-drama-worthy pic like this. Also, wear your helmets!

There are many perks to night cycling with your bae. You don’t have to worry about sunburns, it’s a relatively cheap activity that won’t break the bank, and you can work out your legs at the same time. Plus, you don’t have to travel far – Upper Thomson Road is a well-cycled trail located in central Singapore.

The trail can start anywhere but most cyclists start around the Lower Peirce Reservoir carpark and head North towards Mandai. For the gents, your eyes better not be lingering on any ladies chilling at the bus stop though, especially if they’re wearing white. Read our guide on bicycle rentals in Singapore if you don’t have your own set of wheels.

Pro tip: Grab supper at Casuarina Curry on the way back.

2. Stargazing at the Amber Beacon Tower at East Coast

Image credit: @peekturesq via Instagram

Eastsiders can cap off a date night with a stargazing session over by East Coast Park’s Amber Beacon Tower. There, you won’t have to worry about throngs of fellow Sinkies equipped with their bulky camera setups ruining your romantic evening. The Yellow Tower is known to be one of the most haunted places in Singapore.

This was also where one of the biggest murder mysteries happened back in 1990. A couple was brutally attacked during their own date night, and unfortunately, the girlfriend died of her wounds. The murderers have still not been caught till this day, so you should definitely keep an eye over your shoulder if you’re going to paktor here.

3. Sunset picnic at Bedok Reservoir

Image credit: @lodha_sandeep via Instagram

Unless you’ve never flipped open a tabloid, you’ll know Bedok Reservoir and its reputation as one of the most haunted places in Singapore. Don’t let the peaceful facade fool you – many bodies have been found floating in the water over the past couple of years.

Those with a penchant for the macabre can still find an unoccupied bench to have a nice picnic together watching the sun set over the horizon. We’d just be a bit cautious about sharing a sandwich with any suspicious people who approach.

If you’d rather catch a beautiful sunset without the fear of a third party joining you, read our guide to sunrise and sunset spots in Singapore.

4. Go for a leisurely night drive at Lim Chu Kang Road

We’d be alarmed if we turned around to see someone sitting in the back seat while driving down Lim Chu Kang Road.

Why stick with the same view out of your restaurant’s window when you can take a leisurely drive down one of Singapore’s oldest and longest roads for a scenic date? Lim Chu Kang Road is not only famed for its kampung and lush vibes, it’s also where multiple cemeteries call home.

Rather than go for a drive in the daytime where your view will be marred by trucks and other industrial vehicles, a night-time joyride would be a lot eerier with the deserted roads adding to the sinister atmosphere. Just don’t be a good samaritan and pick up any “hitchhikers”, if you get our drift. Bonus points if you put on some tunes for an impromptu carpool karaoke sesh.

Check out these other haunted roads in Singapore for a ghostly road trip.

5. Do a walking tour of Neo Tiew Estate together

Neo Tiew Estate is often used by the SAF for urban warfare training.
Image credit: Remember Singapore

For all the Ah Boys To Men who just can’t seem to let their two years spent in the army go, you can also show your GF the beautiful estate where you spent many hours with your buddies in close quarters.

Neo Tiew Estate was once a bustling neighbourhood in the Lim Chu Kang area that was named after a pioneering entrepreneur who set up shop there in the early 1900s. But his family was massacred by the Japanese during World War 2, and their souls were left to roam the grounds.

The estate as you see it was built in the 1970s and abandoned in 2002, resulting in its derelict state. Rumour also has it that banana trees were planted around the estate, so we’d be cautious of any pontianaks hanging around the area when you’re checking it out.

6. Take the last train at Bishan MRT

Image credit: @trustylioncity_smb3587p_t18 via Instagram

Despite having lived in Bishan for more than a decade, my goosebumps still stand whenever I’m walking home at night, no thanks to the knowledge that I’m walking on what might have been previously a cemetery.

Yes, in case you didn’t already know, most of Bishan – including the bustling MRT interchange – was built on top of a cemetery called Peck San Theng. Legend has it that staff working the graveyard shift has seen apparitions in the tunnels from coffin bearers. If you’re up for a good spook to cap off your date night, taking the last train home from Bishan is a good place to start.

Check out other haunted MRT stations in Singapore.

7. Set up camp at Pulau Ubin

Image credit: NParks

Forget staycations in a swanky hotel room. Impress your partner by pitching a tent – a literal canvas one – and spend the night together in nature on Pulau Ubin. The island off the North-Eastern coast of Singapore is best known for its hiking trails and other outdoor activities which includes camping at their three campsites: Jelutong, Mamam, and Endut Senin.

Be warned though – campers have reported multiple supernatural experiences at Mamam campsite, including hearing sounds like footsteps and laughter. But the worst is probably the story of a camper seeing fingers press down onto their latex tent in the middle of the night. We’d probably not be able to close our eyes for the rest of the night.

8. Birdwatching at the Pasir Ris Tower

Image credit: Anshul Johri via Google Maps

If your SO has picked up birdwatching, you can bring them to the Look-out Tower at Pasir Ris Park. The three-storey tower makes it a perfect vantage point for spotting birds. But if you decide to come when the sun has set, you might be spotting some other creatures too.

The tales about the paranormal encounters people have had here all revolve around the same theme, leading it to be coined the “Suicide Tower”. An innocent person would rush to the top of the tower to investigate something, only for their friends to see them leaping off the tower to their deaths unexplainably. But with their dying breath, they reveal that they were pushed off by something instead.

P.S. We went ghost hunting at Pasir Ris Park to see if we could spot any “friends”.

9. Appreciate the arts & culture together at Haw Par Villa

It’s probably time to switch things up after you’ve been to the National Gallery for the umpteenth time. Enter Haw Par Villa, a theme park cum outdoor art gallery with surreal statues depicting some of the strangest Asian cultural scenes, most notably the 10 stages of the Court of Hell.

As innocuous as it might seem, there is a nasty rumour that a witch doctor or bomoh used to sneak into the park to make deals with the ghouls and spirits. Those beings, however, reportedly never left the premises and have taken to haunt the grounds. Don’t be surprised if you hear weird screams coming from the Court of Hell like the security guards have.

Haw Par Villa also has its relatively new Hell’s Museum for couples to check out. Its exhibitions on death and how it’s celebrated and discussed among various religions in Singapore will give a whole new meaning to “death do us part”.

10. Book a chalet on St. John’s Island

Image credit: Singapore Land Authority

LBR, staycation-ing at a new hotel in Singapore is such a “been there, done that” date idea. For your next staycation with bae, consider booking a chalet on St. John’s Island instead. It only costs $27/night and you’ll get an entire lodge with kitchen, common areas, and 4 bedrooms should you want to invite friends along.

Image credit: 3 Playgrounds

While St. John’s Island is known to be a quiet, beachy alternative to the always-crowded Sentosa, this place has its own spooky lore. It was once a quarantine centre for those infected with cholera and leprosy, and holding station for POWs during WW2.

You might’ve noticed the giant chessboard on the island – it’s said that Japanese soldiers used POWs as chess pieces and killed any human piece that had been captured. It’s said that you can still hear the screams from POWs being beheaded in the dead of the night.

Date ideas in Singapore at haunted places

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with arranging a normal date like art jamming or hiking the Green Corridor, but those are all basic ideas that you can bet every other Singaporean has on their bucket list. To really impress your other half, especially if they are a fan of the supernatural, take them on one of these scary dates instead to get their hearts racing in a different way.

For more date ideas in Singapore:

• Late-night date ideas
• Date activities for introverts
• Things to do in Singapore

Cover image adapted from: @trustylioncity_smb3587p_t18, @peekturesq via Instagram
Last updated by Raewyn Koh on 19th August 2024.

The post 10 Scary Date Ideas In Singapore For Brave Couples Who Don’t Mind Hantu As Your Third Wheel appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

When I was young, I always wondered what it would be like to find “the one”. That, and of course, having kids of my own. I was a hopeless romantic: A dreamer who idealised the notion of soulmates who are meant for one another. You know, The Notebook kind of eternal love. I wanted to find my Noah.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I’d be single, child-less and in my thirties, but here I am. And let me tell you, I’m having the best time of my life. Which begs the question: When did my desire for a traditional happily-ever-after dream get flung out of the window?

What I thought my life in my 30s would be like

Me as a young, hopeful child. And a letter to Straits Times Life! Mailbag on 25 Nov 2006. *I changed my name in 2010.
Image credit: Vanessa Mostafa

I’d always longed for love for as long as I can remember. It didn’t matter that I never knew love or what a happy relationship looked like up close as my parents separated when I was just a baby. I knew that one day I’d have it. My heart ached for it so bad, that I even named my future children at the age of 18.

I loved movies such as Ghost and Pride and Prejudice. And like the ladies of the Jane Austen novel, I imagined one day, bumping into my “Mr Darcy”…

I saw myself meeting the love of my life, maybe somewhere quaint like a library or a cafe, just like that scene in Taylor Swift’s Begin Again music video. Perhaps we’d date for some years, unrushed, before finally tying the knot in an intimate wedding in a secret garden surrounded by family and friends.

What it actually was like in my 30s

I recently turned 36 a few months ago. Twice the age of when I first came up with the names of my future children. Yes. I am still single. Never been in love. And of course, without kids. There are many reasons however, as to why I ended up still single in my 30s. Some by choice, while others by circumstances.

Helicopter mum & lack of socialisation

My mum was a helicopter tiger mum who overprotected me to the point of me not having a social life with people my age. Unlike many teenagers and young adults who had the luxury of hanging out with friends through social meet-ups after school, simple meal get-togethers such, or staycations; much of my teenage years right through to my mid-twenties consisted of merely school and home. 

Socialising was unheard of, let alone a partner in life. Heaven forbid I should go on a date or bring a boyfriend home at that age.

I never understood my mum’s rationality other than the fact that she was set in her ways, and that there was nothing I could do to change her mind. I remember turning down many requests and invites to hang out with friends after school. Even post-work hangs with colleagues became a chore as I had to “ask her for permission”. 

After many years of fighting with her over this, I simply gave up.

Insecurity from being bullied through school

Insecurity about my looks also played a role in dampening my quest for love. I never felt that I was “attractive enough” for society, much less for the opposite sex. I was convinced that the world revolves better around you, if you had good or pleasant looks to begin with. I hated my teeth, my gummy smile and lack of womanly assets. 

Perhaps these feelings also stem from my past history of being teased and taunted. No one knows this. Not even my family. But I was pretty much bullied all through school. When I was in primary 6, some classmates called me “duck” whenever they saw me while making quacking sounds and flapping their hands. 

Under One Roof’s Abigail (pictured left).
Image credit: todaypk.video

At some point, they even called me “Abigail” – a recurring character in the local sitcom Under One Roof who had big teeth and cried a lot into a bowl. I did not cry a lot, but I had big teeth. In secondary school, another classmate simply said “eee…” whenever I was near him.

At that time, I was resigned to the fact that I would forever be the ugly duckling that would never grow into a beautiful swan.

Much has changed over the years and I have learnt to accept my “ugliness”. I no longer care about how people look at me or if they judge me. I am comfortable in my own skin and being in front of the camera. 

I no longer have awkward smiles that just don’t feel right, wondering whether to show teeth or not to. Selfies and wefies feel perfectly okay to take and filters are not needed. I became okay with ugly, or as I like to call them, “derpy” photos of myself.

Prioritising my work and self over the search for a partner

There is this notion or expectation that someone of my age should be happily married right now, with kids of their own and having a family. Thankfully, my mother didn’t expect this of me. At family gatherings, loved ones were far more concerned about my career prospects than me settling down.

In fact, so was I. After all, how am I supposed to support a family, if I cannot even support myself?

By the time I had passed my mid-twenties, many friends that I knew from school and work had started to get hitched, while others had their first child. Yet I didn’t feel like I was lagging behind. 

It wasn’t that I had totally rejected the idea of marriage and children. I had merely put it on pause. And as the years passed, the idea of a soulmate became less and less important to me, while the idea of a “soul career” took precedence.

I also became more and more emotionally independent. I was probably 27 when I decided that this – me just being on my own – could really work. I guess you could call this the turning point in my life.

I was comfortable in my skin and now I was comfortable in my own life too. After all I had been through, it was a reflective and empowering moment where I saw myself focusing on self-nurture and self-growth.

Embracing singlehood and being “self-partnered”

Emma Watson coined the term self-partnered instead of being single – a term I seriously love! Instead of wallowing in the “what ifs”, “whys” and “maybes”, I punched ahead to embrace the possibility of a life without a partner and the idea of self-love. Every day from there just became an adventure.

I love my independence. I like the freedom and luxury of being able to do what I want when I want, even if it is something as small as watching a movie on the fly or traveling solo to another country.

My single life has led me to many epic adventures and seen me travelling abroad on a whim for many concerts. 

Going to an Ed Sheeran gig alone in Melbourne in March 2018.
Image credit: Vanessa Mostafa 

From Ed Sheeran to Doctor Who, Fall Out Boy to Anne-Marie. I am happy that even in my mid-30s, I can manage, with little to no sleep, still camp at gigs, dash for barriers and even be on my feet for seven hours straight. Partaking in activities and tours such as feeding the animals at Mandai Wildlife Reserve also became a regular affair.

The highlights of my singlehood go beyond just tangible stuff. Being happy in my singlehood has become a mantra I live by.

Selfies taken in Feb 2021 while feeding the animals at Mandai Wildlife Reserve parks in Singapore.
Image credit: Vanessa Mostafa 

In essence, knowing that I do not need another person to make me happy. I relish the idea of being able to visit attractions and take part in fun activities on my own, whether it’s learning to plant padi at Bollywood Farms or simply hunting down the Minions at Universal Studios Singapore. 

Of course, sometimes I do these with friends too.

Visiting the minions at USS for Halloween 2021.
Image credit: Vanessa Mostafa

My life adventures also include giving back to society and helping others in need. I am a regular blood donor, occasional volunteer and recently I even registered with the Bone Marrow Donation Programme (BMDP) to join the international pool where I could donate my stem cells or bone marrow. 

Am I still open to the idea of marriage and kids?

Yes. I do still believe that I’ll bump into my Mr Darcy some day. But right now, I’m going to focus on making myself happy. 

I have learnt that despite having friends on different pathways, like those in a marriage or with kids, my life is no less colourful and meaningful compared to theirs. I’m on the path of self-love and self-worth, and I couldn’t be happier.

Being single in my thirties feels very much like that Coldplay song – where every day feels like an Adventure of a Lifetime. But unlike the song, the only difference is that I don’t need someone… “to feel my heart beating and alive again.”

I may be 36, single and childless. But I am truly and comfortably happy for now.

Cover image adapted from: Vanessa Mostafa
Originally published on 25th October 2021.

The post I’m 36 And I Don’t Have A Boyfriend Nor Kids, And Why That’s Perfectly Okay appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

The city lights cast a seductive silhouette on his body, making the muscles on his arms pop out more than they should. So, so hot. My heart started beating wildly as if in anticipation of what was about to happen next. 

“I really like you, y’know”, he muttered. Leaning in for a kiss, I closed my eyes, wrapped my hands around his athletic frame and…“MUMMYYYY! I need to pee!!!”

I jolt myself awake from my reverie. Clearly I had been so engrossed in revisiting past romances, I forgot I now had mummy duties to tend to. 

You see, dating as a single mum is one hell of a roller-coaster ride. I have to navigate through situations my pre-baby me didn’t have to. Sometimes, it can be more fifty shades of grim than it is grey. So you want to know what it’s like to be single, 98% eligible, and ready to mingle? Well, sit tight and hang on for the ride.

Stigma and struggles of dating as a single mum

“You don’t look like a mother.”
“Okay…thanks?”

Ahh, the infamous half compliment, half patronising comment. I always find it funny how people expect mothers to look like homeless hags, as if we absolutely lose all dignity and sense to look decent after we pop out a child. I’ll have you know I can still fit into my H&M party dresses and get called “Xiao Mei” at the coffee shop. *flips hair*

Yes, being a divorcee and working mum does take its toll on me, but not as much as being labelled “needy” and “low market value” by the lesser half of society does. Those biting words sometimes echo loudly in my mind while I am indulging in a wagyu steak dinner with my date.

People have this preconceived notion that single mums are relentless in our pursuit of love. We are judged as desperate. Lonely. Hell-bent on replacing the love we lost. Some men get all flighty assuming we want to get married the day after. Others tremble with fear thinking they’d have to be a stand-in dad to our child. 

Eh, relax can? I just want to watch White Chicks and kiss after.

All girls know preparing for a date is serious business. Hair needs to catch his eye, outfit has to be fly. For many it can take anywhere from 1-3 hours. For me, it takes three business days. 

I have to make sure my freedom-loving mum has time to babysit my son. On the day of the date, since my son’s sole job is to ensure I end up old and lonely, he suddenly needs to poop. He spills his drink on the couch. He wants a snack. 

Just as I thought he’d settled in, he barges into my room and insists I pick the blue eyeshadow on my Urban Decay Naked Palette. He stares at me until I swipe my brush over it. Lucien honey, getai season is over. 

When I’m finally eye-flirting with my guy over a glass of Gin and Tonic, I feel it. No, it’s not what you think. Instead, it’s the creeping, insidious emotion you may have heard of – guilt.

My mind unexpectedly wanders to my son. And then my inner voice tells me, “You’re a bad mum. You should be spending time with your son, he needs you. How could you?!”

Then, all uninvited emotions crash my party. I start feeling unworthy. I think of my imperfections, how I’ll never match up to other more eligible, child-free girls. He just wants my body, I convince myself. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a vicious cycle of how I subconsciously sabotage my happiness. 

How to look for red flags when online dating 

I’m at a stage in my life where most of my friends are either in relationships or married with kids. Gone are the days where we could just hang out impromptu at the bar and potentially meet someone there. My only option? Enter the treacherous world of online dating. 

My vulnerability and insecurity had hit an all-time high as I online dated. I made it clear that I have a son on my profile, but I was nervous. Part of me felt like being a mum was going to make me less desirable, and I subconsciously created plenty of negative self-talk. I wanted to be more than just the hot mum.

Online dating – some call it a goldmine, others swear it’s an absolute cesspool. I’ve experienced both, but we all know you’re here for some salacious stories. So, if you’ll allow me, kindly take some wise ol’ sage advice and look out for these red flags:

1. No social media

Girl, cut the cord. Cut the damn cord now. The problem with meeting people online is that you don’t know their history. They literally could have inspired a character on Crime Watch and you’ll never know. 

So I met this banker, let’s call him A. A was smart, sensitive, and extremely generous. He took me out to fancy places, spoke about my son often and always drove me home. The catch? There was no trace of him anywhere on social media. 

No Facebook, no Instagram, nothing. His Whatsapp didn’t even have a photo. I initially thought this was refreshing, seeing how I wouldn’t have to worry about him prying on other girls.“I just like to keep a low profile”, he said it as such a matter-of-fact that I didn’t even think to probe.

I was grateful he didn’t mind that I had a son, something I was worried would get in the way, and was quick to dismiss the fact that something was clearly amiss. 

“Don’t you think it’s weird he doesn’t have social media? Something is up.”

Wise words from my friend indeed. As girls, we’re experts at excavating seemingly unavailable information. I later found out A was married, hence the “low profile”. Perhaps he had sensed I was easy prey due to my insecurity of trying to date as a mum. 

Ladies, if the person you’re dating acts as if he’s running a covert spy operation, abort the damn mission.

2. Avoiding conversations about your child

I had already made it clear that my son is my priority, so it was a little suspicious that B, a guy I had been seeing for a while, never mentioned my son. 

B was fun. Being with him gave me the much-needed breather, a break from mum duties. Once again, I felt the nagging need to prove that my life didn’t just revolve around my little one, so I overcompensated by being absolutely blasé about B pretending my son didn’t exist. 

“I’ve been thinking about you moving in with me.” 

My heart skipped a beat. After I realised he couldn’t pretend any longer, I brought up my son. I received a text from B later that night saying “we should just go with the flow”, and I dropped him like a bad habit. 

3. You only meet for sex

Any inexperienced dating novice could tell you this is red flag number one. Enter me, veteran girlfriend and black belt in red flag oblivion. 

C was a successful lawyer. He was rich and respectful (or so I thought). He wined and dined me to the nines. He was always considerate of my busy working mum schedule. 

Fast forward a couple of months, the good guy mask comes off, and apparently so did the clothes. Suddenly, romantic date nights became risque date nights, sans the romance. 

My fairytale romance quickly became wham, bam, thank you ma’am. As much as the sexy time was enjoyable, I was confused. I guess being insecure really made me tolerate disrespect. I thought that if I had stuck it out, he’d finally realise how much he loves me. 

In an ending no one saw coming (at least I didn’t), he looked me in the eye and said, “I thought you knew this was just about sex. You have a kid”. Alexa, play Heartbreak Hotel.

Lessons & self love – things I learnt from dating as a single mum

Through my not-so-good encounters, I realised that by vying for affection, I was actually falling out of love with myself. 

For many nights after I would look at my son as he fell asleep. I mused at how his eyelashes curled up, how his lips would move ever so slightly while he was dreaming and how his dorky bowl-hairstyle remained in shape even when sleeping. All that I had ever needed was right in front of me. 

I grew to love myself again. I embraced my flaws. I was ready to purge anyone incapable of loving my son and me right. 

Despite the horror stories, there were many roses among the thorns. I’ve gone out with guys who were nothing short of wonderful. They were genuine in wanting something solid with my son and me.

Moral of the story? Regardless if you’re a single parent or not, always place yourself on a pedestal. Be discerning. Never settle for anything less than you deserve. It’s cliché but touché.

98% eligible? Screw that. I’m a 110% badass single mum.

Read more dating and motherhood perspectives here:

• Love lessons Singaporeans learned from failed relationships
• Common dating app mistakes
• How my tiger parents shaped me as a mother
• What giving birth without an epidural feels like
• I unexpectedly got pregnant and my first feeling wasn’t joy

Originally published on 27th September 2021.

The post Dating As Told By A Single Mum – Stigma, Struggles & Online Dating Red Flags appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

Breakups and heartache are universally dreaded, and notoriously painful to overcome. It might not be what you want to hear when you’re bawling your eyes out, but look hard enough and you’re almost guaranteed to find a silver lining. These love lessons through failed relationships are testament to that, and hopefully will help the aching in your chest fade a little.

They say music is one of the best forms of post-breakup catharsis. Billie Eilish’s new album, Happier Than Ever, certainly seems to have addictive hits in relation to every bittersweet chapter in your journey to recovery. We’ve listed some songs tied in with each love lesson, so you can press play and let the saccharine vocals comfort your grieving heart.

Note: Some names have been changed to preserve anonymity. Images for illustration only.

1. Don’t justify red flags, and listen to your loved ones’ concerns

There’s a famous quote from the animated series, Bojack Horseman, that goes: “When you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”

True enough, it’s easy to tell your bestie to ditch a partner that’s obviously bad news for him or her. But when you’re the person stuck in a bad romantic situation, it suddenly becomes a lot more difficult to identify red flags for what they are.

If you find yourself concealing info about your SO from your friends and family because you know it’ll cause them to view him or her in a bad light, you more or less have your answer.

This was the case for Alicia, who used to confide in her sister and clique of friends about boyfriend woes when she was still with her abusive ex.

After a while, she felt embarrassed by her and her partner’s repeated breaking up and making up, and knew that she would be “disappointing” her loved ones by going back to him and his bad habits.

This led to her keeping mum about major fights and otherwise deal-breaking behaviour. She also found herself constantly making excuses for him when people questioned why they were still together.

Billie Eilish song to check out: Your Power

Debuting in the Billboard Hot 100’s Top 10, this soothing tune tells a painfully confessionary tale of enduring an abusive relationship. Lyrics like “She said you were a hero / You played the part / But you ruined her in a year / Don’t act like it was hard” remind us how easy it is to be blinded by love, to the point where we can’t detect the changes unfolding before our very eyes. 

Oftentimes, abusive relationships reach the point of ruin because personalities and behaviour take a turn for the worst. Even with loved ones around you pleading for you to come to your senses, it can be difficult to shift your perspective of someone who was once your hero.

2. Don’t rush into a relationship expecting it to fill a void

They say an ideal, healthy relationship should comprise of two happy and fulfilled individuals who already have their own things going for them. If you’re miserable, desperately seeking someone to call your other half is hardly going to change things.

This applies for both evergreen folks who are yearning to experience love and relationships for the first time, as well as people who are fresh out of a breakup and looking to hop into the arms of a new lover.

As cliche as it sounds, you really do need to learn to love yourself before someone else can love you.

Just ask Yi Xiang, who was a serial girl-chaser throughout his tertiary education years because he wanted so badly to experience his first romance.

When asked to reflect on that period of his life, he shares that he “would have been much happier just going with the flow” instead of trying to force sparks out of pretty much every new female acquaintance he came across.

Billie Eilish song to check out: my future

The lullabye-esque tune starts off melancholic, before a thumping beat kicks in and transforms it into a groovy and uplifting song – illustrating the upward trajectory of getting over breakups.

The lyrics are heartening and full of hope. Singing of self-worth and falling in love with oneself before seeking a lover, Billie croons “I’m in love with my future / Can’t wait to meet her / And I’m in love / But not with anybody else / Just wanna get to know myself”.

3. It’s not always realistic to remain friends after a breakup

It’s a line you always hear in TV and movies when two lovers have to part ways: “Let’s stay friends”. In reality, things can get real messy, real fast. Especially if there are still feelings involved, or if you add physical relations into the mix.

It takes a world of self-control not to jump right back into what’s familiar, which will in turn cause a rollercoaster of heartache. Although it’ll be more painful and trying at the start, opting for a clean break allows each party to heal on their own.

Plus, things can get incredibly complicated when you try to establish your next romance with someone new, if there is still unfinished business between you and a former lover. Or, if you try to preserve a connection while secretly wishing that the spark rekindles.

This was the case with Syaz, who proposed a friendship with her ex because she felt it would be a waste to let go of all they had in common. They continued hanging out and going on “friend dates”, which comprised everything they used to do as a couple, except for the physical stuff.

Nevertheless, she held onto hope that all these fun memories would make her ex fall back in love with her and ask to get back together. Never did she expect that this whole time, her ex was actively swiping on dating apps and even going on a handful of meetups with new girls.

This exploded into a fight between the two, where her ex maintained that he had every right to explore since he is now a single man. Deep in her heart, Syaz knew this was the truth – but found it hard to accept the fact that she had been fantasising about a different endgame altogether.

Billie Eilish songs to check out: I Didn’t Change My Number and Male Fantasy

When it comes to breakup advice, “time heals all wounds” is oft-quoted. Distance also does well to fast-track your recovery, which is why your friends are likely to tell you to block or at least mute your ex on every platform imaginable.

In I Didn’t Change My Number, Billie delves into post-breakup habits but also establishes that one’s entire life doesn’t have to shift just to draw a separation with the one they’re looking to avoid, with lines like “I didn’t change my number / I only changed who I reply to” and “I didn’t change my number / I only changed who I believe in”.

Meanwhile, Male Fantasy talks about dealing with heartbreak and realising that sometimes, you just can’t bring yourself to hate that person even if you should. Early in the song, Billie sings “If I’m getting over you / Or just pretending to / Be alright, convince myself I hate you”.

Later on, it becomes “Can’t get over you / No matter what I do / I know I should, but I could never hate you”. It’s a bittersweet reminder that somewhere between remaining BFFs with an ex-lover and cursing at their name, there is a delicate balance that could perhaps be achieved.

4. It’s much better to be single and happy, than be miserably attached to the wrong person

Image adapted from: TSL TV

Most Singaporeans face some form of pressure to rush to get attached, be it family expectations or the time crunch to apply for a BTO. If you can’t picture spending the rest of your life with this person, or get constantly irked by their every move, it might be time to let go and embrace the single life.

Similarly, don’t stay tied down to a person who is adding more tears and misery to your life than joy, even if it’s for the sake of sunk cost and because you don’t wish to start over.

For Samuel, the last two years of his six-year-long relationship with his polytechnic sweetheart were close to pure torment. They were constantly bickering, and the moments of understanding and romance were fleeting and infrequent.

Whenever the thought of breaking up crossed his mind, factors like the years spent together and how close their respective families had already gotten weighed him down. Because this relationship was his first and only serious one in his whole life, the thought of having to join “the dating game” filled him with dread.

Be that as it may, he eventually bit the bullet and has now been single for close to a year – and happier than ever.

Billie Eilish songs to check out: Happier Than Ever

On the topic of being better off alone, the titular track of Billie’s latest album, Happier Than Ever, details her realisation that she’s actually happier when apart from the man who is supposed to be her lover. Verse by verse, she recalls the incidents where this ex-beau in question repeatedly let her down. 

As you walk down memory lane and revisit all the times you stuck things through with your ex despite them screwing you over, this powerful song with thumping beats and rock influences will do nicely to help you channel all the rage and anguish from being wronged.

Lessons on life and love from the new Billie Eilish album

Whether you’re a diehard Billie Eilish stan or remember hearing and loving some of her hits on the radio, the new Happier Than Ever album is worth checking out for some hard-hitting lessons on love, and life itself.

This album features 16 tracks spanning from high-octane to ASMR-levels of soothing. The lyrics in every song hold some form of inspo for you to apply to your own life – even if you’re not necessarily a 19-year-old chart-topping songstress yourself.

It also offers a hyper-personal glimpse into the world of a mega celebrity who burst into the music scene at such a tender age. Pay close attention to the lyrics to hear how she navigates self-discovery, young love, and the trials and tribulations of superstardom.

NDA, for example, is a fascinating account of the hurdles Billie has to overcome just to go on a date with a potential love interest. Lyrics like “30 Under 30 for another year / I can barely go outside, I think I hate it herе / Maybе I should think about a new career / Somewhere in Kaua’i where I can disappear” shed light on how fame may not be all that it’s cracked up to be.

With equal parts relatability for us everyday folk and curious peeks into life as one of this generation’s hottest names in music, Happier Than Ever is an album that serves as an autobiography, self-help guide and ultimate playlist fodder all at once.

Check out Billie Eilish’s new “Happier Than Ever” album here

This post was brought to you by Universal Music Singapore.
Cover image adapted from (L-R): TheSmartLocal, TSL TV
Originally published on 2nd September 2021.

The post 4 Love Lessons Singaporeans Learned Through Failed Relationships, & How They’re Now Happier Than Ever appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

If you didn’t already know, One Week Love is SG’s first reality dating show. First released in October 2022 on YouTube, you can now catch the saucy drama among 10 hot singles living under one roof on Netflix.

Whether it’s your first time watching the series or your Nth time binge-watching the action, we decided to do some digging and speak to the producers to uncover all the juice behind-the-scenes tidbits.

*Mild spoilers ahead.

What is One Week Love?

One Week Love is a dating reality series produced by TheSmartLocal. The contestants of One Week Love feature 5 guys and 5 girls:

Guys:

• Oliver Loo
• Sam Driscoll
• Tinesh Brendan Jacob
• Garialdi Salim
• Donovan Wong Tun Shaun

Girls:

• Dione Tan
• Kasey Avarielle Low
• Roziana Cindy
• Dania Ervianny Nah
• Nur Atiqah

Where can I watch One Week Love?

You can catch all 10 episodes of One Week Love on Netflix. The series first made its debut on YouTube in October 2022..

1. Over 500 people applied to be on the show

Like any good reality TV show, the screening stage was intense. After 2 months of sifting through over 500 online applications, scouting hotties at the beach, and sliding into strangers’ DMs, the producers were finally able to secure 10 singletons.

“Just from online forms alone, we got 300 applicants. Out of this, only 3 were chosen”, a producer shared. 

“In order to hunt down the rest of the cast, sweat and tears were put into the process. We spent days traipsing up and down Sentosa, called up numerous modelling agencies, and bombarded hundreds of people on Instagram. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack”.

In the end, they chose 10 attractive singles whose personalities could shine through on camera. “The singles also came from different backgrounds which we thought would be able to connect IRL”, the producers said.

2. The show was 99.9% organic

Here’s some good news for you: every relationship, friendship, and drama between the cast was genuine and not scripted. And yes, it was entirely up to them to hang out and talk to whomever they wanted.

The 0.01%, however, was influenced by the producers who did a little nudging to help make things move along. “We picked up on personal problems from the cast’s daily interactions and then prompted questions to help point them in the right direction. But their answers were entirely their own words and thoughts”, said a producer.

3. The singles were filmed 24/7

In order to be as real as possible, big brother was always watching. Seriously, this show did not want to miss even a second of drama.

Image credit: One Week Love production team

According to the producers, the cameras ran 24/7 and there were multiple CCTVs set up in the accommodation. The idea was to film everything and filter footage later on so that they wouldn’t miss out on any conversation. This, however, meant that the crew had a whopping 300+ hours of footage to sift through during post-production. 

The crew listening in on the singles’ conversations.
Image credit: One Week Love production team 

Also get this: crew members also doubled up as sneaky eyes and ears to help gather as much tea as they could from the cast. As the singles were mic’d up for most of the day, the crew were able to instantly disseminate the freshest of tea for brewing drama.

4. The crew was secretly rooting for Dione & Oliver

Weren’t we all? Dione and Oliver had been a cute match from the start – so says the majority of the Internet. Thankfully, crew members also agreed, which was why they occasionally sent the 2 lovebirds on dates in hopes to help them form a stronger connection.

“Dione and Oliver made a pact from day one that they would try their best at a challenge to earn themselves a date. We appreciated that and wanted to make it happen”, said one of the producers.

Will they end up together? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

5. The challenges were meant to heat things up

During the week-long quest of finding love, the cast had to participate in dozens of whacky challenges. There was a reason why these specific activities were chosen – and it wasn’t just for good TV.

Some challenges like the Wild Wild Wet game were created to help boost a sense of competition among the cast. Others like the Nasi Lemak challenge where the singles had to cook the dish together were meant to help them bond and learn more about working together as a team.

6. Being on a reality show is not all fun and games

Most reality TV shows paint a glamorous picture on what it’s like to have cameras on 24/7. But truth is, it’s hard work. 

Kasey and Dione catching a quick snooze en route to one of the challenges.
Image credit: One Week Love production team 

Aside from the packed 7-day filming schedule, both the crew and cast barely caught much sleep. Whether it was sleepless nights from the excitement of the day’s activities, or wake-up calls as early as 6am for long days of filming, a lot of dedication and perseverance was put into the creation of the show.  

Image credit: One Week Love production team

“We worked round the clock, but it was worth it as the singles got a lot more time to build organic connections with each other,” a producer shared. “This really made the entire process smoother with each day.”

7. Producers had frequent check-ins with the singles

Being filmed 24/7 by multiple cameras was no joke, and producers understood that. That was why they checked in with each cast member often, both individually and as a group, to ensure everyone’s mental health was taken care of.

Image credit: One Week Love production team

“4 days into filming, Sam started feeling overwhelmed with having cameras on him every minute of the day. In order to help, we booked a block of time every day to have a chat with him. We wanted to keep all conversations as open and honest as possible”, a producer shared.

Behind the scenes facts from One Week Love

Those who haven’t already watched One Week Love, do yourself a favour and jump on the bandwagon on Netflix. If you’ve been tuning in, now you know all the juicy secrets from the production team.

Watch One Week Love on Netflix

Cover image adapted from: One Week Love production team
Originally published on 28th October 2022. Last updated by Raewyn Koh on 14th February 2024.

The post 7 Juicy Facts About SG’s Latest Reality Dating Show One Week Love, As Shared By Producers appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

You know the feeling – it’s midnight and you can’t fall asleep. Who do you call? Your boyfriend, of course! And no, wipe that cheeky grin off your face. I don’t mean for that. Contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of things to do in Singapore at night. After dark is a great time to go for a date, considering how empty everywhere is compared to Singapore in the day.

If you’re a night owl constantly on the lookout for a new dating experience, here’s a bunch of late night dating ideas for you.

Late night outdoor date ideas: Head out under the midnight skies

Singapore is full of wondrous sights. Man-made sights, sure, but we don’t appreciate them nearly enough. Take your date to see a side of Singapore we’re not used to seeing, for a chill* night out.

*Remember to bring a jacket along in case it gets cold!

1. Kite-flying under the stars

Image credit: Hazrul Idzwan via Flickr

Bid goodbye to squinty eyes as you let your brightly-lit kites soar in the breezy night sky. Not having to squint and perspire under the hot sun makes kite-flying so much more pleasant.

It’s just more fun when you get to relive a childhood pastime and experience stillness only achievable in the wee hours with your significant other. Also, treat your eyes to a bedazzling view of the city skyline – if you decide to fly your kites at Marina Barrage.

You can get LED night kites from Kite Culture.

2. Night cycling

Overnight cycling in Singapore is a perfect way to work those legs under starry skies with your other half while letting the delightful cool breeze brush across your faces. What’s not to love when it’s less jam-packed with vehicles and people as you treat your lungs to fresh air? Moreover, you get to escape the scorching sun, avoid getting sunburnt altogether.

Don’t worry if you don’t own a bike – you can rent one from some of the 24/7 bike rent stores in Singapore or try pay-per-use bike apps like SG Bikes. Read our guide to bicycle rental in Singapore.

Tip: Put on safety helmets and ensure your bikes are well-equipped with headlights and rear blinking lights.

3. Stargazing

Stargazing on Pulau Ubin.
Image credit: u/terjnh via Reddit

All you need is a picnic mat. To up the romantic factor, pack a basketful of wine, juicy strawberries and chocolates to take along with you! Keep the bugs away with insect repellents. Bet your date will be impressed with this romantic and thoughtful side of you.

Also check out the stargazing sessions (from $17/pax) at the Singapore Science Centre. These stargazing sessions take place on selected Friday nights at the observatory located at the Omni-Theatre Building. They only open till 10pm but they still make a good date idea! For safe distancing, you’ll have to book a slot before visiting, until further notice.

Book tickets to stargazing sessions at the Singapore Science Centre

Read our guide to the hidden stargazing spots in Singapore.

4. Go camping

Pulau Ubin campsite.

Don’t sulk because you want your aircon at full blast. Camping with your partner at camping spots in Singapore like Pulau Ubin will be fantastic if it’s well thought out! I’d be ecstatic if my date brought me out on a little adventure outdoors, away from boring concrete buildings.

Tip: Apply for a camping permit conveniently from any AXS station. You need a permit to camp on mainland Singapore – check our pro tips for camping in Singapore before packing your tent!

5. Visit Gardens by the Bay

Image credit: Singapore VR

Don’t be turned off by the fact that the OCBC Skyway at Gardens by the Bay is closed at night – take heart that you’ll have these Supertrees to yourselves so bring on those tripods and supercharged DSLRs to capture amazing night shots. Best part? Nobody’s going to photobomb your pictures. And you have all the time in the world to take that perfect shot.

Plenty of the other attractions are also open daily from 5am-2am, such as the Serene Garden, Sun Pavilion, and World of Plants if you and your date want a quiet place for a stroll. And if you need a place to stay for the night, there’s the Garden Pod, a hotel in a shipping container located right within the gardens.

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Serene Garden Meadow car park entrance Gardens by the Bay, Singapore 018953

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6. Stroll down the boardwalk at the Marina at Keppel Bay

Image credit: Marina at Keppel Bay

I’m in love with this beautiful place just staring at this picturesque view of the Marina at Keppel Bay on screen. Surprise your sweetheart with an ultra-romantic night out at this luxurious waterfront area.

I can only imagine how much more romantic it’ll be when you’re there with your significant other hand-in-hand, strolling down the expansive boardwalk while looking out at the sea and docked white yachts bobbing in the serene waters.

Besides the Marina at Keppel Bay Boardwalk, the following locations are also worth a trip down for.

Late night walking date ideas: Where to go for a stroll

7. Woodlands Waterfront Park

Image credit: Reddit

Take in the breathtaking panoramic view of the coastal park and the Straits of Johor as you walk down the longest jetty in Singapore. Before your stroll you can also check out some of Woodlands Waterfront Park’s restaurants for a romantic dinner, or clamber up their super tall playground filled with bridges and towers.

8. Henderson Waves

Image credit: @askagentkhai via Instagram

Bask in a nigh walk in Singapore across the highest pedestrian bridge in the country. Its unique design allows for an unobstructed view of the southern part of Singapore while the shell-like crevices double as shelters.

The bridge is illuminated by LED lighting from 7pm-7am every night.

9. Yishun Dam

Image credit: @prisc_official via Instagram

Be rewarded with this splendid view of Yishun Dam at first light if you stick it through the night talking about everything under the sun – or moon – amidst magnificent views of the reservoir, surrounding ships and islands.

Late night activity date ideas: Try a thrilling new experience

10. Rock climbing

Image credit: Upwall via Facebook

Scale the corporate ladder as a power couple, but also scale high walls if you’re looking for something exciting to spruce an ordinary night out. Rock climbing is a way to show that you’ve got your partner’s back – literally, since they’re hanging several metres up in the air, on the other end of your rope.

Most rock climbing and bouldering gyms open till 10pm-11pm, but BBF Climb at Tampines YOHA and Project Send at the Esplanade both have days where their climbing sessions run till as late as 3am.

11. Visit Jurong Fishery Port

Image credit: @jessicaasky via Instagram

This is atypical of a date, but put on those trusty flip flops, or shoes you wouldn’t mind tossing anyway, and brace yourself to feast on the sights and smells at Jurong Fishery Port. It won’t hurt to join in the jostling too.

It’s a lot of fun to glimpse into the world of our local seafood supply chain where all the action takes place behind the scenes before your favourite chili crab or cereal prawn is laid out neatly on your dining table. Just make sure this ain’t your first date or there might not be a second!

Note: The port is open 24 hours, daily but to catch the action, it’s best to arrive between 2am-6am when the market is open.

12. Go cosmic bowling

Go glow-in-the-dark bowling! Cosmic bowling marries bowling and discotheque lights with thumping dance party music that is sure to get you grooving along.

You no longer have to fight for air and squeeze like canned sardines in Zouk or Attica for your weekly EDM fix. Cosmic bowling is available at Sonic Bowl @ SAFRA Yishun and SAFRA Punggol, on various weekend evenings. There’s also K-Bowling Club at Somerset, which also provides darts machines and pool tables.

13. Go for a joyride

If you’ve run out of places to chill at night in Singapore, hop aboard your car, or your parents’, and explore areas which you haven’t been to. Just ensure your GPS is turned on. Night time also = good time for supper so if you’re a snack monster, drive to some of Singapore’s best late-night cafes, for sinfully-good ice cream and messy Wagyu burgers.

If you don’t have a car of your own, pick up BB with a BlueSG rental electric car or TribeCar.

14. Midnight movies

Midnight movies are the best for nocturnal movie buffs. On top of virtually having the entire theatre to the two of you, it’s unlikely that you’ll hear little kids bawling their eyes out halfway through an action movie because it is “too loud”.

If you’ve got the cash, splurge on experiences like the GEMINI theatres at Golden Village Funan, which has extra leg room and armrests that can lift up so you can snuggle up with boo. Check out other movie theatres in Singapore for the best viewing experience.

Tip: To ensure emptier theatres, watch movies weeks after their release.

15. Take on G-Max Extreme Swing & Slingshot

Falling in love can sometimes have your stomach in knots, which is what you’ll experience when you and your date sit on the electrifying rides at the GX-5 Extreme Swing and Slingshot Singapore at Clarke Quay. They’re best for adrenaline junkies as these rides fling you 70m into the air and reach terrifyingly maximum speeds of 160km/h.

Get tickets to Slingshot Singapore

Get tickets to the GX-5 Extreme Swing

16. Chill at Timbre+ One North

Image credit: @sarcoofficial via Instagram

Remember the good ol’ days of radio where you could dedicate songs to loved ones? You can still do that at Timbre+ One North. There’s live music nightly with a high chance of bands taking song requests. You can even text a greeting and have your message displayed on screen for the crowd to see.

Timbre Pizza @ Timbre+ One North

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73A Ayer Rajah Crescent, #01-32, Singapore 139957

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Late night date ideas in Singapore: Try something classic

17. Relive childhood memories at the Night Safari

Relive your childhood with a date at the Night Safari ($55/adult). Spot nocturnal animals, go on a tram ride and don’t forget to catch the TwiLIGHT performance with LED lights and dancers located at the entrance. As a cherry on top, you’ll get to spend some koala-ty time out in nature without having to deal with the blazing sun and sweat marks on your shirt!

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18. Game your hearts out at a midnight arcade

#Throwback to your secondary school paktor days with a visit to the arcade. These video game havens have always been a fool-proof way to kill some time. And if that’s exactly what you’re after, take a memo from your 2000s self: get in there with your date and unwind with a good round of Bishi Bashi, Time Crisis, or Daytona.

The opening hours of each branch varies but many Cow Play Cow Moo outlets are both known to open past midnight.

Late night prawning date ideas: Open as late as 24 hours daily

You can fish for compliments and prawns with your date any time of the night at these 24-hour and late-night “prawn fishing” establishments. Also known colloquially as prawning, this relac one corner activity has BBQ pits and everything else you need to grill and savour your fresh catch!

19. Hai Bin Prawning

Hai Bin has 3 prawning ponds at their establishment in Punggol, but the coolest part is how it’s open 24/7, even on public holidays. With a bottle of beer from their nearby bar counter in hand, grill your crunch prawns fresh at their BBQ pits.

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6 Tebing Lane, #01-04, Singapore 828835

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20. Riviera Prawning

Image credit: @veeeyeo via Instagram

The bonus of prawning here is that they hold prawning tag events every weekend, where tagged prawns grant you extra gifts like cash and prawning vouchers. This is also typically quieter than the popular Hai Bin next door, so come by if you prefer a quieter ambience to relax with boo.

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Late night romantic date ideas: Visit bars with a view

Make a reservation at a bar with a view

Or tell your BB: “You are the view”.

No article on late night dating will be complete without mentioning a visit to the best bars in Singapore. After all, Singapore’s nightlife is famous in Asia. Here are some watering holes where you’ll get to have your alcohol fix and hang with your date in a more intimate, romantic setting.

21. Lantern

Image credit: @reco_tkgsk via Instagram

This bar is so chic and captivating it attracts the most glamorous, sophisticated bunch. Take your date to this charming rooftop bar sitting atop The Fullerton Bay Hotel Singapore, a luxury hotel in Singapore. Clink glasses of classic cocktails and champagne against a stunning brilliant blue pool with panoramic views of the cityscape thrown in.

Address: The Fullerton Bay Hotel Singapore, 80 Collyer Quay, Singapore 049326
Opening hours: Sun-Thu 3pm-1am | Fri-Sat 3pm-2am
Contact: 6597 5299 | Lantern website

22. Cé La Vi

Image adapted from: @accela.pr via Instagram

Impress your date with an amazing experience at Cé La Vi. Perched on the 57th level of Singapore’s iconic Marina Bay Sands, the 360-degree panoramic view it affords is unquestionably breathtaking. P.S. You can let your date know that this is one of the ways to enjoy the view from Marina Bay Sands without having to visit the Marina Bay Sands SkyPark observation deck.

Take the stress of mundane daily life off your mind by sipping on intricate cocktails and pours specially concocted by their team of mixologists while enjoying the company of your date.

CÉ LA VI Singapore: Restaurant, SkyBar & Club Lounge

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1 Bayfront Avenue Marina Bay Sands, Hotel, Tower 3, Singapore 018971

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Tuesday	12:00 PM - 01:00 AM
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Saturday	12:00 PM - 04:00 AM
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Late night romantic date ideas: Visit hidden bars

23. Ume San 100

For those who aren’t ready to make their relationship public, a trip to a hidden bar might just be on the cards if you value your privacy. You’ll find Ume San 100 behind a row of vending machines at Fortune Centre. Once you get behind the entrance, you’ll be treated to various types of umeshu – Japanese plum wine.

Address: 190 Middle Road, #02-07 Fortune Centre, Singapore 188979
Opening hours: 5pm-11pm, Daily
The establishment is also open as a Ramen Bar from Mon-Fri 11.30am-2.30pm only.
Contact: 8897 4575 | Ume San 100 website

24. Set Of Six

Image credit: @thegatedreverb via Instagram

The entrance to Set Of Six is quite nondescript, but step inside and you’ll be transported to the 1920s. Every section screams flapper opulence, right down to the ostrich feather lamps and plush velvet furniture. The food menu features signature dishes inspired by different countries in colonial times – Italy, France, Great Britain, South America, Spain, and the Seven Seas.

Pair all that with wines from those respective countries too. Look for the hidden ‘Press for champagne’ button that will get you bubbly with every push.

Address: 20 Craig Road, #01-01, Singapore 089692
Opening hours: Mon-Sat 4pm-12am (Closed on Sundays)
Contact: 8181 1829 | Set Of Six website

Late night romantic date ideas: Sip on whiskey

We know the average Singaporean is competitive in most aspects, and if being citizens of the costliest city to live in isn’t enough, we are the world’s most hardcore whisky drinkers despite those ridiculous alcohol taxes. So there’s a high chance your date will appreciate a nightcap at these whisky bars in Singapore.

25. The Quaich Bar

Image credit: @kath_bonita via Instagram

The Quaich Bar was the first to bring premium whisky to the Singapore populace back in 2006. It is quaint and small but boasts a sizeable selection of more than 500 whiskeys, most of which are of Scottish descent.

Full list of The Quaich Bar outlets

26. Fine Spirits by La Maison du Whisky

The astounding selection here will make your jaw drop – their bar has more than 100 Scotch whiskies by the glass and other rare international whiskies. Their retail shop has over hundreds of different whiskies, spirits, grappas and specialist alcohols from all over the world.

Don’t be shy and ask for recommendations from the well-trained staff. Regulars of Fine Spirits can vouch for their competence in the alcohol department. They make mean cocktails, too!

Address: 80 Mohamed Sultan Road, #01-10 The Pier, Singapore 239013
Opening hours: Tue-Thu 12pm-12am | Fri-Sat 12pm-1.30am (Closed on Mondays and Sundays)
Contact: 8725 8985 | Fine Spirits website

27. Auld Alliance

Image credit: The Auld Alliance via Facebook

Boasting a staggering collection of over 1,000 different bottles of premium whisky from all over the world, there’s bound to be one – or a few – for every single whisky maniac out there. Oh, and I heard their spectacular drinks menu is 70 pages long!

Ask their staff for recommendations regardless of whether you’re a whiskey connoisseur or newbie. Let them know your preferred taste and they’ll find something that satiates your craving.

Address: 9 Bras Basah Road, Rendezvous Hotel, Gallery #02-02A, Singapore 189559
Opening hours: Wed-Mon 5pm-1am (Closed on Tuesdays)
Contact: 6337 2201 | Auld Alliance website

Late night supper date ideas: Stuff yourselves at food spots

Image credit: Eatbook

Even if you belong to the health-conscious camp that advocates greens and all things low-calorie, it’s unwise to turn down a supper date with your other half. What can be worse than depriving yourself of good food and good company? A couple that grows (fat) together, stays together.

Supper most definitely isn’t restricted to that packet of MSG-laden chicken flavoured Maggi Mee or that shiok but lip-numbing McSpicy at one of the 24-hour McDonald’s outlets in Singapore – the options available for glorious food past midnight are aplenty.

These are places you should visit at least once in your lifetime.

28. La Pona Snack Bar

Image credit: @jaceonthemove via Instagram

Tucked away in Orchard Plaza is a nasi lemak stall that only operates for the graveyard shift. If you and your date are not keen on stuffing yourselves with more tipple, then a trip to La Pona Snack Bar is in order. You’ll get a plate of fragrant coconut rice and your choice of classic toppings like fried chicken wings, otah, and sunny side eggs.

Address: 150 Orchard Road, #04-53 Orchard Plaza, Singapore 238841
Opening hours: Mon 10pm-3am | Tue-Sat 10pm-4am (Closed on Sundays)
Contact: 8866 0453 (WhatsApp only) | La Pona Snack Bar Instagram

29. Shiok Shiok Night Market

Image credit: Shiok Shiok Night Market via Facebook

Most couples pick Bangkok for their first overseas vacation. But if you want to “test waters” first, then bring your date to Shiok Shiok Night Market. It even has similar offerings to Bangkok night markets like live music, mookata, grilled meat skewers, seafood, and tons of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available.

This open-aired bistro is now open 24 hours, daily so you can get your fill of Thai food and drinks any time of the day.

Address: 100 Orchard Road, Concorde Shopping Mall, Singapore 238840 (Outside alley)
Opening hours: 24 hours, Daily
Contact: 8768 5254 | Shiok Shiok Night Market Facebook

30. 333 Bak Kut Teh

Image credit: @eatxburps via Instagram

Those who love their piping hot bak kut teh clear and peppery in the wee hours should visit 333. Word has it that the pork ribs are cooked till they are tender, so whether you’re half asleep or en-route to preventing a hangover, you’ll be grateful you get to slurp down all the goodness without needing to chew on the ribs.

Address: 333 Balestier Road, Singapore 329765
Opening hours: Mon-Tue 6pm-6am (Closed from Wednesdays to Sundays)
Contact: 6498 8993

31. Outram Park Ya Hua Bak Kut Teh (欧南园亚华肉骨茶)

The broth here has a prominent pepper flavour that does not overpower the flavour stemming from the herbs and pork ribs. It is recommended that you order you tiao (fried dough fritters), to dunk into the piping hot soup for added flavour.

Also, you have the option of switching up your bowl of white rice to mee sua, an interesting twist to this traditional Chinese dish. While Outram Park may be in its name, this BKT is available at 2 locations: Keppel and Havelock.

Full list of Outram Park Ya Hua Bak Kut Teh outlets

32. Swee Choon Dim Sum Restaurant

Image credit: @breadieediaryy via Instagram

Must-try items at Swee Choon include liu sha bao, beancurd skin with prawns, chee cheong fun, chicken wings, mee sua kueh, Shanghai XLB, and yam paste with pumpkin and ginkgo nut. Their liu sha bao is one of the best salted egg yolk custard bao I’ve had in Singapore. These are calories you wouldn’t mind putting on.

Full list of Swee Choon outlets

33. 126 Wen Dao Shi (126 搵到食)

Image credit: @chriswonggk via Instagram

Yes to more glorious dim sum! Must-try items include prawn rice roll, chee cheong fun, porridge, king-sized siew mai, mini pork belly bun, char siew bao, har gow and deep fried soft-shell crab. If you still can tank more food after all that dim sum, order their mouth-watering Thai-style fried crab dong fen.

Full list of 126 Dim Sum outlets

34. Nana Thai at Clarke Quay, Aperia Mall & Clementi

Image credit: @zannyytummy via Instagram

You know you’re in good hands when bona fide Thai cooks helm the kitchens and cook up a storm, delivering authentic, delightful Thai food at insanely affordable prices. Like most Thai eateries, the menu at Nana Thai is extensive.

Order their phenomenal phad thai, clear tom yum soup, green mango salad, and stir fried basil minced pork. And of course, their excellent Thai milk tea so that you won’t have FOMO. There are 3 Nana Thai outlets that are open 24 hours, daily.

Full list of Nana Thai outlets

35. Diandin Leluk Thai Restaurant

Image credit: @xia0feizhu via Instagram

Singapore’s own Little Thailand – Golden Mile Complex – may no longer be around but its Thai food lives on. Diandin Leluk has moved to City Gate, just across from where the original restaurant used to be.

Must-try items include their hotplate omelette with oyster, tom yum soup, mango salad, and chicken feet salad. Their phad thai, fried pork with basil, green curry chicken, and kangkong are said to be pretty good as well.

Address: 371 Beach Road, City Gate, #01-05 & #01-17/18, Singapore 199597
Opening hours: 11am-10pm, Daily
Contact: 9023 9389 | Diandin Leluk Thai Restaurant website

36. Kko Kko Nara Korean Fried Chicken

Image credit: @mistywanderjournal via Instagram

Forget about counting calories because these Korean fried chicken are to-die-for. Koreans are sheer geniuses when it comes to cooking up absurdly delicious fried chicken. Eat them as soon as they’re served! They also serve traditional Korean fare like kimchi jiggae and bibimbap.

Address: 68 Tanjong Pagar Road, Singapore 088489
Opening hours: 12pm-1am, Daily
Contact: 6224 8186 | Kko Kko Nara Korean Fried Chicken website

37. Haidilao

TBH, you can’t really go wrong with a late night hotpot date at Haidilao. For one, there’s less of a waiting time, so your date isn’t going to go hangry on you. Plus, the hotpot chain regularly holds discounts if you dine in later at night. Want to impress your date? Check out these Haidilao freebies you can score like hair ties, manicures, and even exclusive toys.

Full list of Haidilao outlets

Late night date ideas at home

38. Bake a cake

It could be your favourite chocolate cake or his favourite Oreo cheesecake. Or if you both have an undying love for Milo, you could try whipping up these Milo goodies that will leave you on a sugar high. No oven, no problem: try some air fryer dessert recipes to make egg tarts and churros that’ll impress your other half.

39. Storytelling with a twist

Start a story about anything. Each of you continues the “story” with just one sentence. The fun part is that nothing has to make sense! Let your imagination and creativity run wild while you two revel in ridiculous, hilarious fun with each other. Whoever gets stuck loses and does a penalty – we suggest that alcohol is involved.

Even better for Potterheads or K-pop fans, you could create your own fanfic this way. Create a whole universe with your partner that will only be limited by your imagination. Just remember to keep your phones stowed so no one gets distracted by social media.

40. Organise a game night

Games aren’t restricted to the young. Bring on Twister, Scrabble, Monopoly, Aeroplane Chess, and Jenga – the options are limitless. You might want to stock up on potato chips and ice-cream as you battle it out with your partner.

Alternatively, if old school games don’t interest you, drop by late night board game cafes in Singapore – some close as late as 6am so you can finish up that neverending battle of Exploding Kittens.

41. Movie marathon with microwaved popcorn

Cozy up together under warm sheets while watching your favourite action or rom-com flicks. Sci-fi or horror would work too. Alternatively, connect your laptop to the HD television to let your newly downloaded movie stash see light. Big-screen experiences aren’t limited to cinemas either. Get a home projector to take things up a notch.

Tip: Do not plug in any film under the History genre. You might just drift off to sleep even before reaching the 20-minute mark.

If popcorn ain’t your thing, make the biggest ice-cream sundae for you both to dig into while you watch the movies. Don’t fret if you don’t have any ice-cream on hand. Just run out to the nearest supermarket or grocery store in Singapore to grab a few tubs. Love entails sharing so get flavours and toppings that you know both of you would enjoy eating to make this an even sweeter treat!

42. Video game night

Your guy will love you for this! Bet he wouldn’t mind even if you mistake him for the enemy and end up killing him off “accidentally” the first and second time. But the third time, you might have to deal with him looking like ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ. Be spontaneous and play! Just don’t wake the entire family while you’re at it.

Try multiplayer Nintendo Switch games and free Steam games. We’ll suggest starting with simpler free online games and letting the excitement pick up from there.

43. Challenge your date to a competition

It could be speed-eating watermelons, pizzas, nuggets, marshmallows, M&M’s, potato chips or doing push-ups or crunches! We recommend the mobile app Just Dance Now if you’d like to shake off those calories in a less gruelling way. Challenge accepted?

44. Learn to dance

Image credit: POPSUGAR Fitness via YouTube

If you’re so comfortable with each other you don’t mind being teased for being awkward at conjuring some “slick” moves, it is always fun to dance silly and laugh at each other. After all, we know everyone has different talents and yours might lie elsewhere outside of the dance department. Just go on YouTube and search for “*name of song* + dance moves”.

45. Fix a 1000-piece jigsaw

One night is likely insufficient to complete the puzzle. Since no one is allowed to quit before it’s finished, psych yourself up for a few more late night dates! Perfect opportunity to get him to come over to your place more often with that yummy bag of Ah Poh Bak Chor Mee from Bedok 85.

Tip: Get your jigsaw puzzles from online stores such as Typo and Turtle.

46. Midnight swim

Image credit: Frog and Princess

With the weather so erratic these days, it’ll do everyone good to swim if not dip in the cool waters. For those lucky enough to have access to a pool because you reside in a condominium or landed property with a private pool, good for you and your date!

Otherwise, this is also feasible if you and your date happen to be on a staycation at W Hotel. The pools there are open 24/7. Read more about hotels with the biggest swimming pools.

Go on a late-night date

With all these ideas that we’ve put together for you, we hope you find them helpful. Whether you’re hopelessly in love or just true blue nocturnal, it’s time you try dating late at night when it is quieter and cooler. It won’t hurt to do something different for a refreshing change anyway.

More more date ideas and other things to do:

• 123 things to do in Singapore
• Valentine’s Day date ideas
• Quiet activities for introverted couples
• Classic romantic places to visit

Original article published by Denise Bay on 19th January 2015. Last updated by Raewyn Koh on 14th February 2024.

The post 46 Late-Night Dating Ideas In Singapore When It Gets Dark – Cosmic Bowling, Night Climbing & Supper Spots appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

Singaporeans are a quicky bunch – we chope tables with tissue paper, use “la” as an exclamation point, and have somehow turned otters into our unofficial national mascot. Then, we have Singaporean couples – who, for some reason, seem to have rather predictable, and oftentimes bizarre, traits of their own.

Hear me out: after going steady with BB, every pair of local lovebirds goes through a rite of passage that includes “soft launching” the relationship and visiting Gardens by the Bay. I can already hear David Attenborough narrating: “and now we have a pair of Singaporean mates in the wild, staring at each other lovingly under the void deck…”.

Feel called out? No worries you aren’t the only one around doing these:

1. Delete Tinder, Bumble, CMB…

Some actual data from a local survey: 1 in 4 Singaporean couples find love on dating apps. Throw a stone into a crowd and you’ll hit someone who’s been on here-for-a-good-time-not-a-long-time Tinder, just-looking-around Bumble, or looking-for-a-serious-relationship Coffee Meets Bagel. 

If you’ve managed to get yourself a boyfie or girlfie, the first thing we all do is purge our phones of all dating apps as a grand gesture of love and fidelity. Sometimes, this results in us ghosting other potential matches on the app – but collateral damage takes a backseat in the lovey-dovey realm of romance. If these dating apps are still on your phone, shame shame!

2. Get matching white Crocs & ADLV tees

Image credit: Shopee

Those who’ve dated in the 2000s may remember the matching rings from Couple’s Lab and “I’m hers/his” printed tees. Fast forward to 2023 and our love for going matchy-matchy is very much still around; and still borderline cringey. Here’s the thing: we couples know it’s crazy corny but we love doing it anyway. 

Image credit: emelia diaries

Look around – or maybe in a mirror – and you’ll find a couple rocking a pair of white Crocs and matching ADLV tees. Some take it further and get a pair of matching ‘jammies. Is going twinsies actually cool? Well, let’s just say it gives off the same energy as B1 and B2 in Bananas in Pyjamas. But if you’re going bananas for each other, who cares what others think?

3. Post an IG “reveal”, but might as well don’t reveal

Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

Here’s something 99% of us are guilty of: IG “reveals”, where couples announce to the world that they’re dating. These posts are often extremely cryptic with each “reveal” being a little Sherlocks Holmes-like puzzle to unravel. Does this mean they’re officially together? Got heart shape in the caption leh! 

Image credit: @keziasdf

You’ve gotta make your friends ponder for a few seconds, or maybe head to the comments section filled with congratulatory messages to find the confirmation they need. Don’t forget the unspoken rule – these IG reveals can only go live after you’ve updated all your besties. Your closest BFF has to be the very first person you tell, else, you’ll go to friendship-jail.

4. The holy trinity of dates: Hi-Roller, ASM & cafes

Got yourself a partner? Welcome to struggle town. Every date requires a little bit of brainstorming for activities, and many of us land on the same few date ideas: ArtScience Museum, cafe-hopping, and Hi-Roller. The latter being the perfect excuse to hold BB’s hand.

Image credit: @heydeets

Don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten about Gardens by the Bay, an S-tier date location in its own right. Legend says you’re not a real couple if you haven’t visited GBTB together. Don’t forget to hashtag #gardensbythebae or #gardenswiththebae while you’re there.

If you’re new to dating, we have plenty of guides to save you the headache of finding original date ideas:

• Late-night dating spots
• Free date ideas
• New date ideas in 2023

5. Pose with a random relative’s baby together

Image credit: @renaecjc

We all love babies, but just-attached couples seem to love them more than anyone else. During festive seasons like Chinese New Year, you can guarantee that there’ll be a whole lot of couples snapping photos with their young nieces, nephews, relative’s dogs, or any other cute-looking being available. 

P.S. The act of spamming these photos on IGS isn’t necessarily a hint from your other half that they’re ready to start a family – not at this stage of the relationship at least! Rather, your BB is probably just so deep in love that all that affection spills over and smothers everyone nearby. Take it from someone who’s guilty of doing this too.

6. Staycay at some loft hotel as a Bali warm-up

The Warehouse Hotel.

“Get a room!” we say. Couples in Singapore are more than happy to oblige. Since movie theatres simply don’t provide sufficient privacy, going “official” marks the start of staycation galore for lovebirds.

Get your mind out of the gutter – a couples’ staycations isn’t always a naughty affair. For most, it just needs to be an aesthetic getaway where they can spend some quality time with their loved one. Think M Social, Studio M, and Lloyd’s Inn. 

Soon after, couples will work their way up to a sweet vacation to one of the 3 nearby “B”s of Batam, Bintan, or Bali. Just be careful of the Bali curse if you’re the superstitious sort!

7. Use each other as a pole on the MRT

PDA is like coriander – you either love it or you hate it. You’ll know a couple who loves PDA when you see one. They’ll be hugging on the escalators, holding hands when they’re queueing for McDonald’s, or even clinging onto each other on the MRT.

As a passerby, you can’t help but feel a mix bag of thoughts and emotions. For example, “ew”, “omg diabetes”, and “so sweet”.

8. Paktor at HDB void deck with 7-11 snacks

Singaporean void decks serve their purpose, all right. Other than being a great hangout spot for neighbours, they’ve also managed to offer a secondary function – that is, being a meeting point for young love.

You’ve either enjoyed many a free paktor session here in the past, or inadvertently walked past budding romances at one of the many void deck seating areas. Snacking on ready-to-eat 7-Eleven meals during one of these dates is but a rite of passage.

Really, none of us have any issues with these HDB escapades unless said couples head to the stairwells. *Ahem*

9. Meet the pets before meeting the parents

Without a doubt, meeting the parents is an extremely stressful affair. Doing so when you’ve just gotten together is a ticket straight to pressure-ville.

As such, Singaporean couples choose to integrate into the family pet-first. It’s quite a genius plan really – you’ll get to first meet the friendliest member of the family without any stress. And worst comes to worst, the dog/cat/hamster/bird can’t possibly criticise you!

10. Faster chope BTO because must wait long long

Some say romance is dead and the complicated process of BTO is at the forefront of the massacre. Whether or not you agree, it can’t be denied that the practical folks among us start thinking about applying for BTO the moment they become “official”. Chances are, you’ll have to wait extremely long to get a flat anyway. Might as well try first see how.

All the things Singaporean couples are guilty of doing

People in love tend to do the wackiest things and that doesn’t stop the moment things become “official”. If you check off any of the actions in this list, welcome to the club. Stand proud and wear the label of being a quintessentially “Singaporean couple” like a champ. 

Cover image adapted from: @keziasdf, Renae Cheng, Shopee
Originally published on 14th February 2023.

The post 10 Things Singaporean Couples Do When They Go Steady That Single Friends Secretly Wanna Call Out appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

Social media has drastically changed our generation’s dating and relationship culture. It’s increasingly common to meet romantic partners via dating apps, and going “Facebook official” is the hallmark of a serious relationship. Our tendency to document our lives in snippets online has recently given rise to a new phenomenon: soft launching a relationship on Instagram.

Like blockbuster directors dropping hints of an upcoming movie or music artistes teasing an album drop, the idea is to slowly reveal to your followers that you’re freshly off the market. It’s met with a mixture of gleeful excitement and eye-rolling cringe, depending on the viewer. But one thing’s for sure, you’ll know a cheeky soft launch post when you see it.

Here are the most common ways to soft launch a relationship on Instagram, ranked from most subtle to straight-up obvious.

*The promotions featured in this article may no longer be available.

6. IG story of food with a mystery diner opposite or beside you

Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

This is perhaps the most frequently used method of soft launching a relationship on Instagram, but let’s all be honest here: nobody’s focusing on the food on the table.

IG-storying your meal with a mystery diner sitting beside or across the table from you is just subtle enough for you to deny allegations of being on a date. But it’s certainly enough speculation fodder for your followers to rewatch the short clip, and even pause strategically to carefully inspect the phantom hands maneuvering cutlery.

5. Reposting their story with you in it

Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

Ding-ding-ding, we officially have a username to stalk! A major win for those who have been working on zero clues for the possible lover’s identity, a simple repost of a tagged IG story unlocks the person’s exact profile. Fingers crossed that their account isn’t set to private, so you can scroll through their feed for additional tell-tale signs such as mutual liking and commenting on each other’s posts.

Bonus points if the reposted IG story is of a one-on-one date-like hangout, like checking out museums and exhibits together or hanging out at couple-y events like Light To Night.

4. Tagging them in an IG post with photographer credits

Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

Tagging your potential lover with photographer credits is a fairly subtle way of announcing that you guys spent time together. But again, it gives precious access to the mystery companion’s IG profile. An IG post is a significant step in the process of soft launching a relationship, as it lasts beyond the 24 hours that IG stories will stay alive on your page.

It also means that you’re documenting moments and memories between you and your mystery bae for the long-term. If IG stories are but fleeting bursts, IG posts are semi-permanent fixtures in your feed which you can fondly scroll through and revisit. And for your invested followers to stalk at their convenience, of course.

3. Documenting their gifts and acts of service, but not tagging them

Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

These IG stories are a level above mere hanging out together, as it documents sweet gestures that are beyond what platonic friends would do for each other. Some might even interpret these to be low-key flexes, like you’re showing off the fact that you’re showered by gifts and acts of service.

Disguised as oh-so-casual updates of your daily life, IG stories of surprise food and BBT deliveries or free chauffeuring after a long day of work are bound to induce the envy of your followers.

2. Posting their back view while you’re obviously on a date

Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

This is the closest your followers are gonna get to seeing your mystery miss/mister’s physical form from above the neck. Unless you’ve already “leaked” their IG username through story reposts or photographer credit tags, there’d usually be no account tagged in these faceless photos and videos.

Unless… you wanna be extra messy and throw off your followers with a misleading tag – like “@dontbekaypoh” or something.

1. IG story of staycation adventures with a mystery companion

Image adapted from: Renae Cheng

In the number one most blatant way of soft launching your relationship on Instagram, we have the staycation post with a mystery companion. If your followers haven’t already been buzzing with “Omg babe/bro, you’re attached?” replies to your stories, this set of updates is going to send your notifications skyrocketing.

The quintessential shot: a staycation room tour with a suspicious second set of luggage and pair of shoes, and strategically cutting the video just in some so your followers don’t catch a glimpse of your staycay buddy’s reflection in the sprawling mirror. Tsk, tsk – you’re a sneaky one aren’t you!

Take your relationship to the next level with Poh Heng Promise Rings

Whether you’re guilty of the occasional cheeky soft launch post or have gone down the slippery slope of unabashedly documenting your romance online, you’ve got to admit that the start of a new relationship is electrifying like no other. 

In this day and age, we might fall into the trap of linking a love connection’s official beginning to the first time you and your SO post and tag each other on the ‘Gram. While it’s heartwarming to share the joy with your followers and receive an outpouring of well wishes, there are also grand gestures to commemorate your love story in the way it deserves.

Poh Heng’s series of Trust Diamond rings have been a go-to among Singaporean couples when it comes to popping the question. But while you and bae journey through the blissful relationship phases, you can celebrate the GF/BF union with a Promise Ring instead.

Almost all diamond cuts in this series are available in both 18K yellow or white gold

Available in a wide range of cuts and designs to suit every fancy, these rings are more affordably priced (from $2,230) and ideal to showcase your adoration and commitment to your lover. 

The signature halo setting is a timeless design, and helps to elevate the diamond size.

Choose from various diamond cuts including Princess, Emerald and Heart.

You don’t need to wait till proposal day to put a ring on it and shower your SO with some serious bling. The next time you’re racking your brains for a Valentine’s Day, birthday or anniversary gift, consider bestowing a Poh Heng Promise Ring upon your special lady.

Find out more about Poh Heng’s Promise Rings here

This post was brought to you by Poh Heng.
Photography by Doreen Fan.
Cover image adapted from: Renae Cheng
Originally published on 14th February 2022.

The post We Ranked Every Way Your Friend Soft Launches Their RS On IG, Beyond The Basic Elbow Shot appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.